I know I have said this, but cancer sucks! I am so very tired of, well, being tired. Yesterday I slept 20 out of 24 hours. That must be a lot of fun for Scott and Nick. I guess the only thing more fun than that is when I am awake and complaining about how bad I feel.

Headaches, dizzy, constipation, diarrhea, upset stomach, body aches, ear aches, sore throats. The list goes on and on. Each day brings some new malady or the a repeat of an oldie but a goody. I bend over and I am dizzy, I do too much and I get dizzy I stand up too fast and I get dizzy.

Another problem is how addle brained I am during the beginning of the cycle. I don’t even recognize myself and that is very scary. I forget things, I don’t remember where I put things, I can’t remember names. Even this writing seems different from when I first started. I can’t concentrate as long on it and I feel like I am repeating myself. (I will say it again, cancer sucks!) Will I ever be me again? I don’t want to lose myself, I liked who I was. I sure hope this is temporary.

How much of this is just my overactive imagination and when should I mention it to my doctor? I just don’t know. It sounds sort of funny to say, hey doc I think my memory is going.

My doctor of the week visit this week is the plastic surgeon. This will be an important one. Do I qualify for the reconstruction during the original surgery? What kind of side effects does it have? It takes muscle from my stomach wall, and let’s face it, I don’t really have muscles in my stomach, so will that be a problem. Lot’s more questions. I have learned that I have to write it down or my stupid chemo head may not remember what was said. I will have plenty of paper with me for this one.