I was in my surgeon’s office last week talking about how the surgery was going to go. I wanted to discuss the possibility of taking both breasts. First, let me tell you about my surgeon. Very nice guy originally from Iraq. Without making any stereotypical generalizations about him or Iraqis in general, I am going to say he is a bit of a chauvinist. Let me tell you why...

We were talking about surgery to remove both breasts and what the procedure would be. If he only takes one, he removes the tissue and all the lymph nodes and does reconstruction at the same time. If I do both, he does the same on the right side and on the unaffected left side he removes the tissue, saving the skin and then a plastic surgeon comes in to do the reconstruction. He made a referral to a plastic surgeon for me, to speak with prior to the next appointment.

Then he asks why I would want to take both breasts. My response is I would do just about anything to not have to go through this again. But why did God make breasts on women, he asks rather nonchalantly. Hey, I am done with the baby making thing, I am not in need of the real ones anymore. They are not just for babies, he responds. The real ones are, I say.

We discussed the need for the gene test to determine if I have the genetic predisposition for breast cancer. If so, then for sure I will have them both removed, if not well we can discuss.

Then he made this wild comment: next appointment, bring your husband with you. We want the whole family to understand and agree with this decision.

Oops, he doesn’t really know me very well. Uh, I will be happy to bring Scott with me to the next appointment, but the decision will be mine, I tell him. Oh, of course, of course, he hurries to reassure me.

Here’s the best part. I start to tell Scott about this and I get to the part about wanting him at the next appointment and he laughs and says why? Like I could make you change your mind about this. That’s why we’ve been married so long. He knows me so well.

Next appointment, Scott can come, he can hear what the doctor has to say and is welcome to make any comments to the doctor or me that he wants to make. But the decision, that will be mine.